Another loss.

7 Oct

We had to cancel our show tonight because earlier this week Hanna’s dad had a stroke and they say it’s a matter of days… It’s been sort of difficult to wrap my mind around this because it was only a year ago that I lost my mom especially when I think about the days before I got that call from my sister. It was a month after Maggie had lost her dad. And we (the band) were trying to regain some sense of normalcy by going to practice at Smash studios, planning to record the songs we had, and preparing for our next show.

I’ve had two minds about doing this blog. Other than my family, close friends, Hanna and Maggie, I’ve kept my feelings–the guilt, the hopelessness, the chaos that ensues when you haven’t had any sort of closure of losing someone–to myself. But I’ve been anxious all night, thinking about who’s next because this happening doesn’t seem like a coincidence. Maybe, I’m being hysterical (because people are born and die everyday), but I find the timing to be strange that all three of us would have this experience and it occur so close in time. Maybe, I’m trying to find out why – when there’s no answer, no comfort from a logical explanation. Maybe this weird happening is one of the things that would bring us closer together.

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